“I swear to always take every opportunity to cross-promote and help grow our partnership as a third stream of income.” Some vows for influencers.
I stand here before you, a free man in what used to be America, and vow to protect you against all attackers—foreign, domestic, intra- and extraterrestrial—and to keep you safe when the S.H.T.F. . I will share my doomsday preparations with you, including arms and a ration of ammunition, and I will train you on how to successfully live off the grid, while still getting Netflix [].
I flipped around the “Open” sign and you flipped me onto my rare-books display case, devouring me like one of my cake pops. I covered you in frosting, licking the sugary glaze from your chiselled, sweaty body. “Marry me!” you howled, completely enraptured. “I do,” I whimpered back, seductively. “Oh, God, II discovered your content about a year ago, when you slid into my D.M.s trying to establish yourself as a brand ambassador for my brand [].
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