The Olympics but make it a rave
What am I even looking at? Photo: JEWEL SAMAD/AFP via Getty Images If you’re looking for a little morning motivation, something to kick your day off on a productive foot, I do not recommend waking up at 6 a.m. and watching the Olympics opening ceremony. I did this today and am now forced to doing nothing but spend the next 12 hours Googling “very long glow sticks where to buy.
Friday morning , the Beijing Olympic Games began in extremely trippy fashion. We’re talking performers swinging around extra-long glow sticks, some dancing snowflakes, pyrotechnics, sign carriers in panda hats, and large-scale versions of what I can only describe as gorgeous screensavers, each equal parts impressive and confusing. Also a maskless Putin was there despite the threat of a possible war with Ukraine and Russia being banned from the Olympics over doping violations.
Go, go, little guys! Photo: Adam Pretty/Getty Images There was projection mapping galore, which has become something of a staple for the Olympics opening ceremony. Rightfully so. I would watch an entire competition in which people skate on something that looks like a big computer screen with pretty shapes and colors. It’s a sport that would pair well with last year’s human pictograms, which I missed dearly this year.
This is, of course, the Olympics. Photo: Adam Pretty/Getty Images When you look at the above picture — a group of people in a dark arena, pointing hockey sticks at a big, fake ice block — do you think Olympics? No! That is the inside of a video game. That is the last five of my brain cells trying to come up with an idea. That is a dream I once had, and if my memory serves me correctly, they’re all about to be late for their high-school musical, in which they take the ACT live onstage.
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