The right to choose has become one that most women exercise silently. (from 2018)
Looking back, it was probably not a very healthy relationship. It was one that was very important to me at the time. But how I got pregnant was probably a combination of birth control failure and birth control sloppy usage. I was on the pill at the time, and for whatever reason, I just didn’t pay close enough attention to my body that month and found out that I was pregnant.
For some reason, I had it in my head that I could deal with it in a walk-in clinic. I don’t know why. And so I went to another clinic, and they also looked at me like I was unwell mentally and were like, “You need to go.” I’m wearing sweatpants and there’s, like, blood spotting on my underwear. I put a pad on and finally I went to Hahnemann Center in Philadelphia. Went in and got triaged and was by myself the whole time. I got brought back and they said that I was miscarrying.
What I remember about the abortion is that I waited in the waiting room with my boyfriend and my friend. They called me in. I probably got a gown. They probably did a last exam just to talk to me about what it was going to feel like. I had researched the procedure so that I would know what was going to happen, and I also asked questions before they began the procedure, because maybe that’s how I deal with nervousness. I’m also just genuinely curious about medical stuff.
I remember calling my gynecologist. I was on a cellphone under the L train in Chicago, my finger to my ear so I could hear her, and trying to make an appointment, which is insane. She told me that I should go to Planned Parenthood. I must have known at the time that you can’t make an appointment with your OB-GYN to have an abortion. But for some reason, I think I thought I was different than all the other girls having abortions, which strikes me as ridiculous now.