In today’s Fiver: Scotland, plus big new deals for Everton and Crawley Town
Whenever you think of Everton, your mind immediately gravitates towards thoughts of Thomas Gravesen, Lee Carsley and Andy Johnson. Therefore it makes obvious sense they would team up with Turkish outfit and “top-tier industry professionals”, Vera Clinic as their first Official Hair Transplant Partner.
One in the eye for those Old Trafford suits and then some. Vera, the club declares, “will be visible around Goodison Park on a matchday”, allowing fans to contemplate whether a new top knot will boost their confidence while witnessing their latest on-pitch travails. “We are proud to be the Official Hair Transplant Partner of a well-established and strong team like Everton,” blurted board member Kazim Sipahi. “The reason behind our success in the hair transplant sector in Turkey is that we attach great importance to teamwork. Likewise, any success in football has to come from teamwork.” With that kind of synergy, what can go wrong?“I agree with The Fiver’s assertion that the Nations League does not seem to suit the temperament of the UK home nations . Perhaps Uefa could create a ‘closed’ Nations League group consisting entirely of the UK home nations with no promotion or relegation allowed. This would reduce the need for foreign teams to come here or for plucky Brits to travel abroad for their morale-crushing defeats. I have tried in vain to find a flaw in this suggestion, other than the fact the fans would not care to watch such a drawn-out risible tournament. But that has never been a consideration in the past” – Colin Reed.history of football kits . It turns out that ‘shorts’ were originally known as ‘knickers’ and in 1879, Darwen, a team of cotton mill workers, met Old Etonians in the FA Cup semi-final. Darwen were derided for wearing trousers cut off at the knee held up by braces, instead of wearing knickers. Luckily, we live in more enlightened times now and a bunch of elites from Eton would never consider looking down at the common folk …” – Noble Francis. “Fiver Towers has long riffed of the USA! USA!! USA!!! use of the word ‘soccer’ instead of ‘football’. I recently came across a Corinthian Casuals programme from January 1984 , which notes that members of the Casuals are proud that an old Corinthian is credited with coining the word: ‘One morning at his Oxford college a friend invited old Corinthian C Wreford-Brown to “a game of rugger after brekker”. “No thanks,” said Wreford-Brown. “I prefer soccer.”’ I would suggest this is a far more ignominious export across the Atlantic than providing the inspiration for the founding of famous São Paulo club Corinthians” – Stuart Webber.
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