This article explores the author's personal experience of an early marriage and its challenges. She shares her regrets about prioritizing sexual purity and rushing into marriage, ultimately finding freedom and self-discovery after divorce. She emphasizes the importance of self-exploration, delayed commitment, and open communication in relationships.
One of my biggest regrets is placing a high value on my sexual purity and virginity. I've since learned that is a recipe for disaster. Getting married quickly also falls into that category. I now tell my kids that it's okay to date for fun, it's a good idea to be with someone before you marry them, and it's okay to travel as much as you want before you settle down. No rush. No hurry. Be young while you're young, and save the adult-ing for later.
When I was young, I was a devout Christian and hopeless romantic. I met my husband at 19 and married him when I was 21. It never crossed my mind that getting married so early would be something I'd come to regret. In my circles, becoming a wife and having children was inevitable and ideal. So, as soon as I hit a marriageable age, I found someone who was good-looking, had a solid family background, and was interested in me. I was barely out of my childhood when I put on an ivory gown and vowed to 'take this man as my husband, my lover and my best friend' when we'd never lived together, I'd never had sex with him, and we had very few shared interests. Aside from our religious faith, we had completely different values. I was only a few days into our honeymoon when I realised what a big step I'd taken and how scarily permanent it was. Over time, I realised I'd jettisoned part of my identity by ditching my maiden name and becoming a wife. I remember feeling ill about it, but I was in love and determined to follow through on my commitment. I ended up following his lead. I moved with him when he was offered job opportunities and supported all his decisions. For years we lived under the same roof on two very different tracks. I felt my husband was consumed by his work and sport, while I knuckled down and applied myself to the task of making us a family. Unable to have children due to health conditions, I focused on fertility treatments and adoption processes. I put my life on pause for seven years. I refused job opportunities, established roots instead of travelling, and put every cent I earned towards adopting our first child, a daughter. Despite my latent feminist tendencies, I chose to do these things because I was desperate to be a mother. But I was desperately sad and lonely. We ended up with four children. On the surface, life looked pretty much the way I'd wanted it to be. But I was suffocating. I loved being a mum. I just never thought parenting would be something I'd feel like I was doing solo from inside a marriage. Eventually, I was able to acknowledge I had changed myself to suit what I thought he wanted. The end of my marriage became a gift that allowed me to be myself again. It felt freeing to invite my dreams back. I'm outgoing, intelligent and adventurous - all the qualities I felt my former partner didn't really value in me. It wasn't easy but I managed to complete a Master's degree, progress my teaching career, travel extensively through South East Asia and buy a house. I've come to regret racing into adulthood and marriage so quickly. My former partner and I both needed to be kids for a lot longer before settling down. And we should have learned more about each other before making a lifetime commitment. I don't regret the children we have together. Our kids are the absolute best! But it's been tricky to adjust my views on faith and relationships, and responsibly prepare my kids for their own futures. Because I want something very different for them
Marriage Regrets Divorce Self-Discovery Relationships Personal Growth Sexuality Adulthood
Australia Latest News, Australia Headlines
Similar News:You can also read news stories similar to this one that we have collected from other news sources.
Hitler’s ‘English girlfriend’ says she was bullied by Goebbels because she didn’t like MussoliniThe revelation follows the discovery of secret diaries from British socialite Unity Mitford.
Read more »
Hitler’s ‘English girlfriend’ says she was bullied by Goebbels because she didn’t like MussoliniThe revelation follows the discovery of secret diaries from British socialite Unity Mitford.
Read more »
Hitler’s ‘English girlfriend’ says she was bullied by Goebbels because she didn’t like MussoliniThe revelation follows the discovery of secret diaries from British socialite Unity Mitford.
Read more »
Supermodel Tyra Banks is emotional as she reveals she lost her house in the LA fires7NEWS brings you the latest local news from Australia and around the world. Stay up to date with all of the breaking sport, politics, entertainment, finance, weather and business headlines. Today's news, live updates & all the latest breaking stories from 7NEWS.
Read more »
When Fei learnt her sister was dying, she knew she wanted to memorialise her through artAs part of the Sydney International Art Series, Beijing-based artist Cao Fei has turned the Art Gallery of NSW's modern art wing into an immersive wonderland of past and future cities.
Read more »
Alleged Russian Spy Said She Believed She Was Working for InterpolVanya Gaberova, a 30-year-old beautician, told the Old Bailey she was fooled by Bizer Dzhambazov, who showed her fake credentials and convinced her he could help her get a job in the police. She claimed to have believed he was part of Interpol and was involved in legitimate law enforcement activities.
Read more »