Here's what everyone gets wrong about cold sores.
Using barrier methods, such as a condom, is a must for safe sex. But, so you should take some extra measures too. “I tell people to be very careful—if you have oral herpes and you have an outbreak, don’t kiss anyone and don’t have any oral sex,” says Dr. Abdur-Rahman. “If you have a genital herpes outbreak, you shouldn’t have sex or oral sex either.”
You should also avoid sharing personal items, like eating utensils, towels, or lip balm when you’re dealing with an active cold sore. You can also try to avoid your triggers as best as you can—so if a day in the sun tends to lead to a new blister, make sure you apply plenty of sunscreen in the area it tends to develop, the Mayo Clinic says.
But the truth is, you can pass the virus along even if you don’t have an active outbreak. There are antiviral medications you can take, like, which quickly works to keep outbreaks at bay and lowers your viral load if you deal with herpes symptoms often, making it less likely you’ll give it to someone else, says Dr. Levine. But that doesn’t mean you absolutely can’t spread it to someone else while on the medicine.
That’s part of what makes herpes so common, but also part of why the stigma around it is totally unnecessary. Depending on your circumstances, there’s a good chance you either have some form of herpes already without knowing it or may get it in the future, and that’s fine. As you can see, there are a lot of people right there with you.