‘The nice version of her was manufactured for YouTube’: my mum, the family vlogger who became a child abuser

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‘The nice version of her was manufactured for YouTube’: my mum, the family vlogger who became a child abuser
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Ruby Franke was a social media star who made viral videos about her six children and perfect-seeming life – until she was jailed for child abuse. Now her eldest daughter Shari is telling her side of the story

he video doorbell footage is blurry, but you can make out the young boy approaching. He has blond hair, his legs are alarmingly skinny, duct tape is strapped to his wrists and ankles, and he is shoeless. In the background, the magnificent Red Mountains rise imperiously over the desert city of Ivins,. The boy rings the bell. His voice is desperate. He asks the neighbour to take him to the police station. The neighbour tells him to take a seat, asks what is going on, then calls the police.

Even before this, Shari had learned she had to adapt to her mother’s moods. “Anything less than unbridled enthusiasm would trigger Ruby into a rage. One hint of displeasure on my face, and whack! … But no matter how much I twisted and turned, no matter how much I achieved or accomplished, it would never be enough. There would always be some new hoop to jump through, some new standard to meet,” she writes. Ruby would smack her arms, pull her hair and apply painful flicks to her lips.

In the meantime, 8 Passengers continued to grow its audience – one million subscribers, two million and, at its peak in 2020, just short of 2.3 million. Shari’s YouTube channel was also successful. And, sure enough, when she turned 15 and reached 100,000 subscribers, Ruby gave her the promised shout-out. She also told Shari, in private, that she was taking 10% of her income in “management fees”. By now the mood had changed. All the fun had gone out of it.

The more praise Ruby got from viewers, the more messianic she became. Many of the subscribers were themselves damaged, and they viewed the Frankes, and Ruby in particular, as a surrogate family. They would leave messages such as, “You’re like my siblings. I know everything about you”, “Wow, thank you for showing the tough side of parenting” and, “Watching your family, it’s like I finally found a place where I belong.

When Shari said that in that case it would be wrong for anybody in the family to have presents, she was told her mindset would cause the children to suffer in later life. That day Jodi also announced that the two youngest children must ask permission before speaking to their elders and be reprimanded if they interrupted. “We all need to present a united front to correct their behaviour,” she said.

Throughout the book she never refers to Ruby or Kevin as Mom and Dad. Initially, I assume it simply reflects a surprising informality. Eventually, I realise it’s her way of reframing their relationship. “I battled so hard with the commandment to honour your mother and father,” she tells me. “So I decided to call them Ruby and Kevin rather than dishonour my mother and father. I’ll always call her Ruby. She’ll never be Mom to me.

Shortly after Kevin and Chad left the family home, a neighbour got in touch with Shari to say that the four remaining children had been left alone for five days while Ruby and Jodi had gone away. That was when Shari called the Department ofand Family Services, requesting a welfare check on the children. The police went around to the family home, knocked on the door, looked through the windows, and reported that the kids seemed fine. They took no further action.

Ruby gave evidence against Jodi, who was described as her former business partner. She wept, apologised to her children and blamed Jodi’s malign influence. “For the past four years, I’ve chosen to follow counsel and guidance that has led me into a dark delusion,” she said. “My distorted version of reality went largely unchecked as I would isolate from anyone who challenged me.”

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