Sadly, on both occasions, I was too late to give my beloveds one last hug.
While my excuses were valid – to an extent – when I heard my friends were fading, both from that #$*@ cancer, they simply did not exist. Not only was I on the next plane, I think I could have sprouted wings and flown up there, so determined was my intention to be beside them at the end.
After the funerals of my darlings, I watched as their families dealt with what to do with what they left behind, the tangible objects that suddenly seem sacred – garments redolent with their late owner's smell; the photos of good times, knowing there will be no more; the pieces of jewellery that touched their skin always; the CDs and books that gave them joy …
And so, this week I will buy a ticket to Italy to watch two of my favourite people on the planet renew their vows in a few months' time – a joyous event that I won't be able to enjoy "some day in the future". Paying it off will be nothing compared to the love and merriment I will experience.
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