“Mostly I called her Burt. She liked that.” In newyorkerhumor, an intimate remembrance of the Queen.
I told her that my last name was Joyce and that I was one-hundred-per-cent Irish and she said, “Well, they’re not all bad. But most!”We’d play catch. She loved baseball. She loved the Cardinals and hated the Mets. She had this old Rawlings glove and she’d hold it up to her face and smell it. “What’s better than that?” she’d ask. “Smells like a summer day.” We’d throw for a while and talk. Or not. She liked the silence. That’s just how she was. She had a pretty good arm, too.
We’d hit a bucket of balls. I’d get a call in the morning. Crazy early. “Fancy hitting a bucket of balls?” she’d inquire. It took a while for me to get used to how she spoke. Her accent was mostly fake. She just thought it was funny to talk like that. Not a lot of people know this but she was born in Finland and retained a really strange Finnish accent which came out when she drank. She couldn’t pronounce the word “fish.” It came out “fiss.
She was quirky. She’d do a thing where you’d be at a pub or on the bus and she’d reach behind you and slap you on the back of the head. Hard. It hurt. And she’d say, “Who done that?!” And I’d be, like, “What the hell?” And she’d be all, like, “It’s just a joke.” And then we’d sit for a while, kind of annoyed with each other. And then we’d laugh. It did hurt, though.
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