Rather than using timeouts and consequences to change a child's behavior, parents should make an effort to understand why their kid is acting out in the first place, says clinical psychologist Becky Kennedy.
How does the"good inside" mentality help when a kid is, say, acting out?
The idea of"good inside" [helps parents] see the identity of our kid as separate from a descriptor of a behavior. Right. So I might say [to my son],"I'm not going to let you hit your sister." Then I'd look at my daughter and say,"Ouch, I know that hurt. That wasn't OK."instinct would be as a parent, your approach is to actuallywith that child. To you, that means making an effort to understand what's going on and help them feel confident, capable and worthy.
[Chastising a child when they exhibit bad behavior] only increases their shame and belief inside of,"See? This part of me is so bad and so unlovable."
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