SexDiaries: 11 a.m. T and I have been messaging nonstop and it feels like a chemical addiction. I keep looking at my phone and my stomach feels tingly. I’m a teenage girl again
Photo-Illustration: James Gallagher This week, a digital marketer incessantly texting a new crush, FaceTiming an ex, and meeting some strangers at the gym: 28, single, Brooklyn.8 a.m. I go to hot yoga. I set the intention of “self-love” for my practice but can’t manage to quiet my mind .
5 p.m. Feels like my green dot on slack has been active for long enough? I leave my computer open and start making dinner. Then I take a nap to prepare for the party tonight. 2:30 p.m. I’ve somehow managed to drag my body to the gym I just joined last week after deciding my quarantine home workouts were no longer cutting it. I lie on the mat for ten minutes “doing stretches” before deciding I’ve earned the steam room.
8:30 p.m. F sends me a pic of him naked in the gym mirror and I ask to FaceTime. I watch him jerk off in the bathroom and briefly forget I ever wanted to strangle him in his sleep. 11 a.m. I’m relieved that my phone screen is not broken and send T a text, “hi this is your vegans anonymous sponsor” . T responds immediately with a GIF , and we launch into conversation. It’s flirty, it’s fun, I feel alive. I’m not working.
10 p.m. Still no response. I blur my vision and scroll through our iMessage thread, trying to assess the ratio of blue-to-white blurbs. I worry there’s far too much blue.6 a.m. I wake up and run to retrieve my phone from the next room — a farce I’ve created in an effort to reduce screen time. I see a new message from T, “whoops sorry to leave you hangin’” with no further follow-up. What is one to do with that? I screenshot and send to my bestie who recommends that I confirm an IRL meetup, stat.
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