What does it mean to be a man in 2023? Inside the changing norms of masculinity—and how men’s beliefs about how to feel are adapting.
Jack Buckwald, 18 Jack Buckwald’s dad will cry at a movie. But not Jack. When the family dog died, everyone cried except for Jack. “I was upset, but I didn’t show it.” Not showing his emotions is now a habit, one he developed as a teenager. A freshman at the University of Alabama, Jack just joined the fraternity Pi Kappa Alpha, which is full of former high school athletes like him. He has an internship on Wall St. this summer and says he’d like to work in finance.
In the past, what it meant to be a man had to do with predefined ideals, including a narrow range of appearance, interests, skills, and behavior. If a man fell short, the anguish was experienced privately, at least until it became a joke among peers or criticism from family. Today, those ideals and even the definition of maleness are being questioned.
At the same time, Gen-Z men and adolescent boys have been told that they are not entitled to experience stress. Their privilege as males and their doting “helicopter” parents are viewed as advantages that preclude such stress. Ironically, young Gen-Z males are probably more aware of how privilege has affected their lives than were prior generations, and when they stumble or fail to attain theirI, Jackson, see both the positive and negative consequences of the focus on male privilege.
Technology is no less critical than changing norms when comparing how different generations deal with stress. Tech offers access to activities that relieve stress—the ability to connect with friends or strangers, novel videogames, new ways to make art, streaming on demand, and creating and listening to music. Conversely, technology’s easy access provides its own challenges; we struggle with how to escape these escape tools.
Luckily, dealing with stress is becoming less of a solitary challenge. Gen-X adolescent males struggled with societal norms by being stoic and appearing invulnerable. As time went on, the idea ofbecame more widely accepted. Talking it out with a trusted friend or health professional is more common now than before. Questions like “What it means to be male” are less of a
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