How do you take life’s most negative moments and turn them into something wonderful? Dilvin Yasa meets three people who’ve used their low point as a driver for growth and positivity.
We all have dark moments in life. Yet while some of us struggle in the face of redundancy, heartbreak or illness, it seems others have a much easier time recovering. In fact, some will even transform it into something positive. The process is called post-traumatic growth, in which people develop new meaning and understanding of themselves and the world following adversity, explains clinical psychologist Mary Spillane, a Headspace app mental health expert.
“I began asking doctors whether I had MS long before my diagnosis. My mother died of complications from the disease, so I could recognise the symptoms about six months before I was sat down and told the news. Even though the diagnosis wasn’t exactly a shock, it was still devastating. At the time, I was running in the federal election, planning a wedding and earning a good income. I honestly didn’t think I could be any happier.
I’ve gone through periods where my health has deteriorated, leaving me unable to paint. I adapted by teaching finger-painting classes for adults and kicking off online art wellness classes. “When my boyfriend first suggested a holiday abroad to meet his family, I honestly thought it would be all romantic evenings and a long-awaited proposal. What I’d failed to recognise, as I was mapping it all out in my head, was that I was in an abusive relationship, and that the abuse would continue away from Australia. And so it did. He demanded sex multiple times a day, no matter how tired or unwell I was, and he went out of his way to make me jealous if I ‘misbehaved’.
After that, I worked for years in the recovery coaching field until I realised that what I had to offer would be much more helpful if people could access it at home. The last thing anyone wants to do is drive across town to attend a workshop when they can get the boost, and the information they need, on their sofa. It was on the back of this that my breakup recovery app, Her.0, was born.
“When I think back to my partner’s pregnancy, I think it’s fair to say that we were in a blissful, naive state throughout most of it. If I had my time over, we might have discussed the potential for things to go wrong. But like most couples, I think we had a sense that it would never happen to us.The birth went downhill pretty quickly. After 24 hours of active labour, we were advised to have a caesarean section.