The former health secretary is writing an insider’s account of the government’s handling of the coronavirus outbreak. Our parliamentary sketch writer knows just how it will go …
pale winter sun shines through my office window. I sigh deeply. Even though I am one of the most successful men of my generation with one of the most demanding jobs imaginable, deep inside I have never felt quite so alone. How I long for someone who understands the real Matt.
My breathing is laboured. Much like my prose. And I also have a temperature. I think I have Covid. But I don’t want to make a fuss. So I just sit at home and continue to work in the brief, fleeting moments that I am awake. The phone rings. It’s Grant Shapps. I tell him I’m feeling a little better. He says that he doesn’t care about me. What he wants to know is whether the PM is OK.
OMG. I can’t believe it. Dreams do come true. I never dared to hope my feelings might be reciprocated but Gina loves me as much as I love her! It went like this. We just happened to be sharing a sandwich alone together at lunch when my hand accidentally brushed her knee.Within seconds our bodies were entwined, our tongues darting ravenously as we devoured one another.“You are my rock, Door Matt,” she replied.
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