SexDiaries: 7 a.m. If I’m going to have an affair with my married colleague, I should give him some kind of pseudonym
By submitting your email, you agree to our Terms and Privacy Policy. New York’s Sex Diaries series asks anonymous city dwellers to record a week in their sex lives — with comic, tragic, often sexy, and always revealing results. This week, an insurance associate who makes a date with a married colleague: 30, straight, single, Philadelphia.4 a.m. I wake up this ungodly early every weekday. Jobs aren’t great in my industry where I live, so I have a 90-minute commute to work, each way.
9 p.m. I’m lying in bed scrolling through social media. There’s stuff going on tonight but honestly, I’m too tired to go out on weeknights.4 a.m. I shut off my first alarm and turn on the second one because I was up too late last night doing nothing. 7 p.m. I’m drinking a glass of shitty drink-ticket wine at a networking event. I haven’t had any alcohol in almost three weeks, so the one shitty glass has me pretty buzzed. I’ve been doing the keto diet, so I cut out alcohol to jump-start myself.7 a.m. Two notifications from Snapchat remind me that if I’m going to have an affair with my married colleague, I should give him some kind of pseudonym. He’s using Snap instead of texting, which means he’s probably asking for a picture.
He’s been pursuing me heavily since July, right around the time I turned 30. We occasionally will need to work on a project together, but we don’t work in the same office, so our communication is largely over email. After he came through with something I needed way ahead of the original deadline, he said I could pay him back with a beer. I told him that I’d be out that weekend to celebrate turning 30, and he joked about wanting to see all the pictures. “Do you have Snapchat?” he asked.
10 p.m. I open up Snapchat and take a shot from a slightly higher angle, lying on my belly and with the camera positioned above my face. It’s cute and sexy, and all that’s on display is my smile and the curve where my waist meets my hip. I save it but don’t send it — too much of a risk that his wife will hear or see something and get suspicious.8 a.m. It’s the day before my long weekend. Someone brought bagels to the office, but I have to be naked on Monday, so I stay out of the break room.
11:30 p.m. I don’t feel like being out anymore, so I take a Lyft home and go immediately to bed. I think about how good it feels to take a Lyft home and go immediately to bed with someone I love. I’ve had that kind of love before — the kind where the most routine and basic parts of your relationship are the most special. That’s what I think a lot of my generation gets wrong about making love work long term: Life is, largely, routine and monotonous.
11:03 a.m. “Can’t wait to pee,” he writes. I reply that this isn’t quite the sext I was expecting, and he laughs and apologizes. He knows exactly what I want, but I know I won’t come. I don’t feel anything for him, so I fake it and he doesn’t notice.
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