Annie’s previous experiences left her feeling emotionally empty; Cate’s were spent trying to please others. But, together, everything makes sense
The first time I laid eyes on Cate was at a freshers’ party in 2012, but I hadn’t transitioned at that point. She was very popular at college, and I wasn’t. We said an awkward hello and all I registered was that someone beautiful had just walked past me.
I met Cate again years later at work: we were doing a project together. I was out as trans by then and a bit less self-conscious. She invited me round to her house because we both loved skincare and she said she would give me a facial. We tried to convince ourselves we were just close friends. I remember I lay down with my head in her lap, and she touched my face, and it was so tender. She was wearing shorts and I reached out and stroked her leg. I looked up at her, right in the eye, and said: “I’m going to have to bite your leg now.” And then I bit her on the thigh. She has the silkiest skin of any human on this planet.Nothing else happened that night. I suppose I was trying to go slowly.
A few nights after the leg-biting, we had sex. It was like the difference between night and day. I had been using sex to escape from myself, but with her it’s the first time I’ve wanted to be present. I suppose we have sex a little less now, but we’re more familiar with each other’s bodies. I’ve been on hormone therapy, and that affects my sex drive, so a lot of the time I find myself getting into it by starting to do it. I was going to use the analogy of a volcano to describe our sex life. But it’s more about comfort. We’re two people who have craved familiarity and support all our lives, and now we have that. She’s also wildly hot.
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