Less 'lose weight' and more 'take care of my body' and 'practice self compassion' in 2020
. “In the past, my New Year’s resolutions were constantly about improving my appearance: a new diet, workout regimen, etc,” she says. “Then a couple years ago, I realized coming up with these resolutions meant I was spending weeks thinking about what I hated most about myself.” Like Katie, many of our resolutions are driven by negative feelings about ourselves and the desire to avoid those feelings in the future. So, at the end of the year, we make a plan.
We see the changing of the year as the end of one thing and the start of another; it feels momentous and fresh. “It’s a powerful desire to want to change, and momentous times such as the New Year are opportunities to step into new ways of being,” David Klow, a licensed marriage and family therapist and owner ofBut in an effort to wipe the slate clean and start anew, we often get too specific and goal-oriented, according to Jenny Taitz, a clinical psychologist with.
And perhaps that’s why so few of us actually succeed in keeping our resolutions. We select very specific, easily measured goals that we can only either accomplish or fail to do so, without any credit for progress. And, in a way, making the resolutions themselves makes it easier to blow them off. Rather than waking up each day and putting in the work to better ourselves, we simply state something we’re going to work on — eventually — and pat ourselves on the back for taking that first step.
That very reason is why Andrea Zimmerman, an editor in New York City, bypasses resolutions completely. “We should continually strive to become better versions of ourselves, not just once a year,” she tells us. “But if it makes you feel better to have a fresh start with a concrete date attached to it, by all means.”
If that’s the case for you, or you’re just not ready to give up on the concept, perhaps take a page from Katie’s book: After realizing her appearance-focused resolutions weren’t doing her any good, she revamped her process. “I wanted to embody a little more self-love and decided that these resolutions should be all about being happy and getting the most out of life,” she says.
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