A Facebook post about a mom trying to clean her daughter's projectile poop from a public slide has more twists and turns than well, a slide.
“I start cleaning her up and there’s only FOUR wipes. This isn’t a four wipe kind of poop it’s pressure washer or open fire hydrant kind of poop,” Berry adds. “So I start looking for more wipes in the van… frantically searching for more wipes. Nothing. I had just cleaned out the van yesterday.”“Then I hear it, that painful SQQQUUUEEEAAAKKKKK of skin getting stuck to a plastic slide. I look up and yes, of course, it’s Sadie.
“I got the bottom and the main top easily, but the middle of the slide I could not reach,” she explains. “I tried to climb up it, but was unsuccessful. Keep in mind I’m REALLY out of shape and just ran a mile and a half. It’s 90 degrees, I’m WEAK, uncoordinated. To say I was struggling would an understatement.”“Instead of risking a head injury I decide to go down feet first, on my stomach, holding on to the side to slow myself down with one hand and wiping with the other.
“When I get to the bottom, I’m finally satisfied with my cleaning job,” Berry writes. “I turn and see a car parked, a family, all of them with glaring at me. I don’t know how long they were there. I never heard them pull up. They never got out of the car. I genuinely think they were afraid of me — after all — I was an overweight seemingly childless adult, on children’s playground equipment.”
Understandably embarrassed, Berry gets the hell out of there before realizing her shirt is now covered in her daughter’s poop. “I am NOT getting that on my seat belt,” Berry decides. “I am not getting a ticket or dying from not wearing a seat belt, no matter how short the drive. I do the only thing I can think to do: I drive home in my bra.”“If you aren’t mentally, emotionally, and physically prepared to roll around in another person’s feces, use a condom.”Also, never clean your van and always have extra wipes on hand, both for wiping butts and well, slides, apparently.
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