Psychologist Dr Nicole LePera (Theholisticpsyc) explains why she’ll be disappointing more people in 2023 – and you should too.
“If you’re like me, you suffer from ‘good girl’ conditioning. Always making sure other people are comfortable, neglecting your own needs, not saying no to avoid guilt,” she writes. “I’ve been conditioned this way since childhood.”
“When I [avoid disappointing someone], I make people small. I operate under the belief that they’ll be crushed if I can’t make something or say no. And that’s just not true. Even when my mind tells me it is,” she continues. Because while disappointment is undoubtedly a raw and painful emotion, we can learn to deal with it. When something disrupts our positive feelings and hopeful expectations, it’s almost impossible not to feel unhappy. And while we can’t stop people from letting us down, we don’t have to let it derail us – or the fear of it keep us from being honest.
“I am going to be OK with the idea that I might disappoint someone. And, maybe most importantly, I’m going to give up the idea that adults can’t deal with being disappointed. Because they can. It’s part of life.”
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