Shame binds with everything, including trauma. But, if it is recognized and explored, it can be gently unbound and healed. Here are three ways to begin the healing process.
When an emotion is bound with shame, it is hard to see and challenging to work with.. Most emotions have a natural rhythm and path to expression. When they are fully expressed, energy is released. We can drop the story and just feel the energy. I believe that emotions are expressions of our life energy. If they are bound with shame, however, they cannot complete.
The energy of shame is a freeze—working against expression and release. As with trauma, shame creates a freeze, a sense of deadness—even when there is enormous energy hidden underneath. And shame around the incident of trauma and the sense of powerlessness and weakness that trauma causes, can reinforce the trauma freeze. A sense of shame can also keep humans from discharging trauma in the. When an emotion is bound with shame, it is hard to see and challenging to work with.
Working with clients, it is important to help them find the moment when they felt the shame and what happened just before. If another person shamed them, it is important to explore what was going on forperson—perhaps a need for power or control, or a speaking out of their own shame. The goal is to help them understand and reframe the situation, with emphasis on what was going on for the other person, which helps counter the freeze and pulling in that accompanies shame.
— which allows the client to feel that they had good reason to act or feel the way they did, we need to let them know that shame was imposed on them; it was not their fault. The belief—of those with power over them. In addition to obviously shaming messages, any disconnection, dismissal, or neglect can easily produce shame in a child. Later incidents can easily and quickly trigger that storehouse of shame.
People often shame others when they feel shame. Unfortunately, the shame cycle just makes things worse. Often the person we shame is just someone who has triggered our shame from the past. While it is important to work with any experience of shame, ultimately, we need to go back to the original shaming and original source and really come to understand what happened. Usually, it is a generational transmission of shame.
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