“Situationships are becoming the norm. People are finally extolling the importance of platonic love. Relationships just aren’t very cool at the moment, so neither is PDA.”
These days, though, that’s very much me. Something has shifted. I’d love to give you a neat, touching story about how it’s because “I’ve become more comfortable with my queerness,” but it’s not that. It’s more that I’ve realised that I want an affectionate romantic life, one anchored in consensual touch and expressed with love.
Sometimes I wonder whether our widespread distaste for PDA is connected to the general push back against romantic love recently. Situationships are becoming the norm. People are finally extolling the importance of platonic love. Relationships just aren’t veryBut I don’t think PDA has to always be a bad thing. I remember being friends with this one married couple when I was younger. He was in a well-known band, she was a teacher. They must have been together for two decades at least.
Obviously plenty of couples express their love in ways other than touch – I would scream in shock if my grandparents started randomly snogging over dinner, even though they raised five children together and would do almost anything for each other. I know that love doesn’t always look like two people eating each other’s faces off. Sometimes it looks like fixing the other person’s shelves, or helping them plant something in the garden, or saying the right words at the right time.
And when I catch a couple against a lamppost in the rain, or notice a quick squeeze of a thigh on the bus, I don’t mind. Because really, what’s there to mind about?
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