Grief changes you almost entirely as a person, and it was no different when it came to sex 🖊️ poornabell via ipaperviews
. One major realisation – and a positive one – was that it stripped away a lot of the pressure I had previously put myself under. I didn’t have any excess energy to date people I found terrible or hope that sleeping with someone might turn it into something more. it helped me to prioritise my pleasure
as much as I would the other person, and safety was paramount. I would only ever have sex in my own place, for instance. If someone didn’t talk to me respectfully because they didn’t understand that casual connections still required human decency, it was a hard no. If I didn’t want someone to stay over, I would call them an Uber. I was never rude or dismissive, just very clear about what I wanted or needed.
Looking back on those early days of grief, I think I was very lucky that I only had good experiences which helped me to slowly piece together my sense of self, and work out what I wanted and needed. But I also think having a much stronger sense of self helped to sift out the wrong people. While I wish I hadn’t experienced grief to learn all of that, life is too short to waste your time on anything that doesn’t make you feel good within your own body. That might include having sex, it might be never having sex again. The most important thing is to do what you feel is right, and not what seems societally acceptable because, from personal experience, society has no clue when it comes to grief, let alone when it is combined with sex.
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