We’re told that there’s plenty of fish in the sea, but what if all we‘re left with is a pond?
Forcing ourselves to like people is a strange, yet universal experience a lot of us have, so we asked some relationship expertswe end up getting our hearts broken by people we had to gaslight ourselves into fancying in the first place.From family, to friends, or religion and even the media – it can feel like there is pressure from all angles to be ‘coupled up’.
‘We are basically programmed to believe that, unless someone engages in some type of egregious behaviour , we “should” be able to make a relationship work with anyone,’ she says. ‘Not fulfilling specific family and cultural values and expectations may create intense psychological pressure on individuals, making them feel like they’re not good enough,’ he says. ‘Dating someone you don’t feel attracted to thus becomes a coping mechanism to deal with the negative emotions experienced.’It isn’t only family who can pile on the pressure. According to Julia McCurley, a professional matchmaker, friends can make us feel that way too – even though they might not mean to.
‘Everyone knows about the honeymoon period and how it wears off so it can be tempting to convince yourself you don’t have to have extreme attraction to be happily married.’If we’ve invested a lot of time into a connection, we may feel obligated to pursue it not because we like the other person – but because we don’t want to ‘waste’ the time we already spent on them.
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