'Over the years, I have realised that I am most comfortable in my professional life when I am closer to fear than to boredom. I like the stimulation and excitement of doing different things all the time. In my personal life, I am most content at the exa...
Decades ago, a very wise man – his name was Arthur North – brilliantly defined happiness for me. He explained that it is found somewhere along the continuum between boredom and fear. That
Our response to the awful uncertainty of exposure to a new and – at first – uncontrollable pathogen was to dial up the boredom big time.Arthur’s diagram of happiness is useful. It enabled me to take some control of my moods. If, for example, you find yourself feeling lethargic, flat or depressed, you may have too much boredom – aka safety – in your life and need to dial in a little more fear – aka excitement.
However, in my personal life, given I have been with my partner for 46 years, I am most content at the exact opposite end of the spectrum. This is not to say my husband is boring – far from it – just that the safety of a long-term relationship matters more to me than perhaps it does for other people.
At first, I found the increased boredom hard to take. The fear did not feel very real because we spent lockdown in the wilds of the Upper Hunter, where we hardly saw a soul. For a while, I felt too safe. I chafed against the sameness of everything and longed for a bit more excitement. My ancient anxiety returned, something I thought I had done with forever. I found myself feeling jittery and on alert for no discernible reason, just as I had as a young woman.
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