Sure, they squirm and giggle, but to some kids, tickling can feel more like an assault. Why respecting boundaries is important when you tickle kids.
“Tickling can deepen feelings of love and attachment for both the child and the parent,” says Colleen Cira, psychologist and founder of The Cira Center for Behavior Health in Chicago. But continuing when the child wants to stop can cause distress. “The negative effects come in when we’re not letting children set healthy boundaries.”
My dad grew up with only brothers and didn’t know how to relate to me or my younger sister. When he did engage with us, it was usually in. I knew he meant well. His tickling was never inappropriate, only unwanted. He was trying to connect to the daughters he couldn’t talk to. The problem was that he had interpreted my laughter as enjoyment and my pleas for him to stop as a part of the game.
A pained expression, trying to get away, or avoiding eye contact are often indicators they are not having fun. My husband is a handsy guy who loves to make me laugh. When we started going out, I told him tickling was a deal-breaker. Though he was respectful during our dating years, since we’ve been married, he has tested me on occasion to see if I still feel the same way.
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