Amid reports of a heart attack and emergency resuscitation, Russian President Vladmir Putin was said to be using a body double.
Of all the many rules of politics — of which in truth there are zero — none is more effective than the Lyndon Johnson Hogf*cker Theory.
Surrounded by a despondent campaign team lamenting their impending unemployment and racking their brains about how they could possibly turn things around, Johnson had an idea.“Yes,” his staffers wearily agreed.Aghast, the team suddenly leapt to attention: “But boss! We can’t possibly prove that!” And thus they were re-reported by other more mainstream media organisations with a heavy dose of salt, all of whom rightly noted that these were mere unsubstantiated claims.Obviously unfamiliar with the workings of a free press, not to mention democracy generally, a Kremlin spokesman gallantly stepped forward to put an end to such silly misinformation once and for all.
This doesn’t mean that Putin has indeed had a heart attack or that there are body doubles running around in his place. And so a bit of good old fashioned campaign journalism has become mission-critical wartime propaganda — or maybe vice versa. Chances are the war will go on as long as Putin is still alive and so the best solution is taking him out, either for real or in the public imagination.
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