If your inner critic seethes when you feel you've done something wrong, you're far from alone.
Do you tend to berate yourself when you make a mistake? Angrily lament your lack of willpower if you finish a packet of Maltesers? If your inner critic seethes when you feel you've done something wrong, you're far from alone.
Professor Gilbert could see these patients were crying out for self-compassion. Through the 1990s, he developed what's now known as Compassion Focused Therapy . "Compassion involves, firstly, finding the courage to engage with things that are hard, frightening or upsetting … and secondly … the wisdom to find out how best to help one's self and others." These principles guide CFT's motto, which is "to be helpful, not harmful, to myself and others".That harsh, negative self-talk is harmful to our health, Gilbert says. He says being verbally attacked by someone stimulates our stress system.
Start by becoming mindful of your inner voice. Gilbert says most people tend to "slip" into it, so pay attention. When you have the time, try to slow the process down. Imagine you can physically take the self-critic out of your head and just let it speak to you.
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