If you've ever thought forming new friendships as an adult is hard, you're not alone! That's because as you get older, making friends no longer happens organically. One friendship expert says it’s crucial to keep putting yourself out there. hereandnow
When you were a kid, it seemed like you could walk up to just about anybody and be best friends the next minute. But somewhere along the long, winding road to adulthood, making new friends became an impossibly hard thing to do., that’s because as you get older, making friends no longer happens organically.
“I'm really more interested in kind of creating a sustainable community that will last,” she says, “especially since at least so many of the friendships that I've made just in my life have kind of had these common experiences anchoring them.” If that sounds terrifying to you, Franco says it’s crucial to assume that people already like you. Assume any meet ups will go well, she says, which in turn will help build up your confidence.
“I'm also a city girl. I often feel like an outsider when trying to engage with those in my new local Maine community who either grew up here and have established connections or those who moved here because of their love of nature and the outdoors,” she says. “I thought I could force friendship to happen by attending events or participating in local sports or activities.”
There's also a number of people who find themselves more and more isolated as they get older. David Troxel never got married and never had children. The 64 year old says that he's been socially disconnected for the last 10 years or more. “There's this phenomenon called homohysteria, which is the fear of being perceived as gay that I think really, really is destructive for men's friendships,” she says.“If you are in a place of loneliness, you are, according to the research, more likely to assume people are going to reject you,” Franco explains. “You're just sort of hyper vigilant for rejection and social threats. You're more likely to think that social interactions will be more negative and less enjoyable.
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