Now that it is firmly in September, I assume all children are back in school. I don’t envy them, though I do envy how transformative returning to the hallowed halls of high school can feel. When you’re a child, you can totally reinvent yourself and return to class anew. I definitely went punk the summer of 7th grade and never turned back. And now I need to know: what’s your best back-to-school transformation story? Did you try to go goth and failed miserably? Did you learn a new skill as to become “the magic kid”? Tell us in the comments below.
. I don’t envy them, though I do envy how transformative returning to the hallowed halls of high school can feel. When you’re a child, you can totally reinvent yourself and return to class anew. I definitely went punk the summer of 7th grade and never turned back. And now I need to know: what’s your best back-to-school transformation story? Did you try to go goth and failed miserably? Did you learn a new skill as to become “the magic kid”? Tell us in the comments below.
I think I came clean and told people not to do it. Maybe? Hard to remember, was a long time ago and I’ve drank an Olympic sized swimming pool’s worth of bourbon since then.The best prank that I didn’t pull came to me at about 12:15 am January 1st 2000, when I realized that what I should have done 15 minutes earlier was find the circuit breaker box at the party I was at and thrown the main breaker. A missed opportunity.
And the prank turned out WAY better than even I thought it would. See, my sister told me later that when they came home, tired from their flight back from Hawaii, she stretched out on the bed without turning the light on. My brother-in-law went to take a shower, then covered himself, head to toe, with a special ointment he used for his eczema. He walked into the bedroom naked - letting the ointment soak in before putting his pajamas on - and then flipped the light switch on.
Anyway, I hate spiders, but the only person I know who hates them more than me is Lauren. I should mention at this point that I was madly in love with Lauren and, being 12, I figured scaring the shit out of her was the best way to express my affection. So, I muster up my courage and manage to sweep it into a an empty shoe box with a broom.
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