For Sandra Thom-Jones and many other autistic women, a romantic endeavour can be the ultimate masking experience. | By Sandra Thom-Jones SundayLife
My first “romance” was when I was about 14 years old. My older sister was a bit of a party person at the time and one weekend, when our parents were away, she invited a group of friends over. This was also my first experience drinking alcohol . I hung out on the edge of the party, not wanting to miss out but not knowing how to engage.
We went to the same high school, so this was exactly how I understood relationships were meant to work. Each lunchtime, I would head over to the place he hung out with his friends and spend the lunch break thinking how cool I was to have a boyfriend. I was shattered. My first boyfriend, and here I was being unceremoniously dumped after only a few weeks.If social relationships are tricky for autistic people, then romantic relationships are like walking through a minefield in size 13 boots with your eyes closed.
That movie really struck a chord with me. When I look back on my relationship history, I underwent a similar process in each relationship as I tried to be the person my partner wanted me to be. Eventually, after a number of failed relationships, I decided it was all too complicated and I was much better off staying single. Then I met the man who became my husband.
I did not have the same lightning moment, perhaps because, unlike Maggie but like so many other autistic people, I wasn’t only masking who I was in romantic relationships, I was also hiding my real self at work, with friends, with family, and even from myself.Eventually, after a number of failed relationships, I decided it was all too complicated and I was much better off staying single. Then I met the man who became my husband. Our relationship began in much the same way as others I’d had.
Australia Latest News, Australia Headlines
Similar News:You can also read news stories similar to this one that we have collected from other news sources.
Clean review – an unsensational documentary about an extraordinary lifeDirector Lachlan Mcleod follows Australian Sandra Pankhurst and her team of ‘trauma cleaners’: those who scrub crime scenes, suicide sites and clear out hoarders’ homes
Read more »
Mother of Bali bombing victim in ‘shock’ over early release of bombmakerThe mother of a victim to the Bali bombings Sandra Thompson says she is in “shock” over the early release of bombmaker Umar Patek. Patek was granted an expedited release on Indonesia's Independence Day. “I just don’t think that for the 202 people he murdered, and he knew what he was doing, he deserves to be let out yet,” Ms Thompson said. “I’m not here to judge the man but he’s already been judged and now they’ve overruled.”
Read more »
'I got that wrong': Bombers boss admits to mishandling Rutten situation as Clarkson signs with NorthNew Essendon president David Barham concedes mistakes were made as the Bombers left embattled coach Ben Rutten in the dark during their botched pursuit of Alastair Clarkson.
Read more »
Drought in Horn of Africa places 22m people at risk of starvation, says UNFour years of failed rains in Kenya, Somalia and Ethiopia have left the region facing catastrophe this year
Read more »
‘Why is he only a thing now?’: The Italian-born architect finding a new audienceThe buildings Gino Volpato designed around Sydney were curvaceous, colourful, and concrete. Twenty years after his death, his designs are still stopping traffic.
Read more »
‘Sharpen your pencil’: How NSW salvaged the NRL grand finalThe decision on where this year’s showpiece event would be held was not made until just before midday on Thursday, following several days of intense, last-minute negotiations.
Read more »