Ben Stokes: ‘It’s like you’re a glass bottle, holding everything in. Eventually, it smashes’

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Ben Stokes: ‘It’s like you’re a glass bottle, holding everything in. Eventually, it smashes’
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The England Test captain talks to Ali Martin about a new documentary, panic attacks, coping with grief and wanting to walk away from cricket

In an arresting early scene in Ben Stokes: Phoenix from the Ashes, which is released this week on Prime Video, a gaunt Stokes, eyes red and sunken, is seen biting his bottom lip nervously. He is two weeks into what became a four-month break from the sport and telling, the renowned director and the interviewer/narrator for this project, about the spate of anxiety attacks that made him consider retiring.

“I didn’t know what was happening,” he says. “The best way to explain it is, not a two-week thing but a huge buildup of multiple things over time. It’s like you’re a glass bottle, you keep putting things in there and eventually over time there’s no more room and it smashes. That’s what happened in Nottingham – the bottle smashed. But it’s hard to remember what happened, I can’t really explain it.”

His eventual route out? “It was a case of completely stepping away from sport. And speaking to a clinical psychologist, someone who could understand what I was feeling and tell me what my brain is doing, why it’s happening.“But it’s not done just because I’m back playing. I still speak to the doc, not as regularly, and I’m still taking medication every day. It’s an ongoing process.”

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