Big dress-up occasions rarely happen in January. So what to wear to low-key meet-ups? Try something your friend would like
he best place to take style inspiration is from your own life. Not from a film or a celebrity or a designer’s moodboard, but from your real world. The thoughts in your head, the roads you walk down, the people you can reach out and touch. This is the stage you are on, so dress for it.Imagine your life is a movie, and you are the costume designer. What would you pull out of your wardrobe tomorrow morning? You would start, I think, by establishing character.
But winter weekends tend to lack much in the way of helpful stage direction. Life is low-key and a little formless. January social occasions don’t tend to be the black-tie kind. At this time of year, meeting friends for a coffee, or one pal for a walk, might well be the sole event in your weekend diary. These are by definition social events, because the whole point of them is to spend time with other people. But they are not the kind of social events for which there is a dress code.
Does it matter what you wear to meet a friend you’ve known for ages for a Saturday morning cup of tea down the road? Fair question. But to put it another way: what matters more, actually, than a cup of tea with a friend you’ve known for years? What is the logic of taking care about what you wear to work, and then treating time with the people you love as a non-event?would like.
In style, mirroring works the same way. Teenage friends who spend all their time together often dress identically. When you grow up and your lives are less entwined with your friends, mirroring clothes can be a way of knitting you a little closer together. Not to go in fancy dress as the other person – that would be creepy – but to wear a necklace that you know they will love, or a jacket that makes them exclaim that they have one almost identical at home.
Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, and also the most effective. To feel seen is one of the things we need and want from our friends, and dressing for a meet up in a way that illustrates how well you know them makes a friend feel seen. But this is nowhere near as altruistic as I am making it sound. People-pleasing rarely is. What we call people-pleasing is often about the need to make other people think well of you, so it is as much about your ego as theirs.
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