How I Found Solace In Judy Garland’s Struggles In Hollywood

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How I Found Solace In Judy Garland’s Struggles In Hollywood
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'Like many queer men before me, The Wizard Of Oz became a life raft.'

“Why would she want to go back to Kansas, in this dreary black and white farm with an aunt who dressed badly and seemed mean to me, when she could live with magic shoes, winged monkeys and gay lions? I never understood it.”

As the years went on, my undying love for Garland became something that I pursued in private. Try as I might to fit the only mould for boyhood that I had access to, there were parts of myself I just didn’t know how to hide. I much preferred learning how to make friendship bracelets with the girls than getting dirty with the boys, and no one ever wasted any time in pointing this out.

Sure, I was not a former child star thrust into the spotlight by an overbearingly abusive stage mother. I was not repeatedly told I was too unattractive to be a movie star and all that kept me going was my voice, nor was I contractually obliged to turn out musical after musical for 15 years with songs to record and dance numbers to learn. But I was an overworked college student grasping to the hollow expectations of the adults around me.

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