Couples don't have to agree on everything all the time. But research shows that if they don't agree on foundational ideas about relationships—like these—they may struggle to stay together, writes swhitbo
Agreement between long-term relationship partners may be an idea you take for granted, but the question becomes how you define agreement.
When it comes to fundamental aspects of your relationship, it may seem obvious that the more you and your partner agree, the better. Consider how you and your partner navigate decisions about basic household tasks such as how to plan your week’s meals. Although you love pasta, your partner maintains that it’s unhealthy and refuses to put it on the table. For the most part, though, both of you like the same foods so it’s not that difficult to work around the pasta issue.
Even within APIM-based research, investigators have wondered whether “dependency… between partners’ scores represents simply a threat to statistical conclusions or instead reflects converging indicators of the same construct.” In the case of perceptions of emotional, for example, the degree of agreement can serve on its own as a “description of shared relationship experiences.”
One of the more intriguing measures used in the study, called the “Impact Message Inventory ,” seemed particularly appropriate for this study testing couple concordance and its relationship to overall relationship satisfaction. This very behavioral questionnaire asks partners to rate each other on specific types of interactions such as : “he makes me feel bossed around” , and “he makes me feel appreciated by him” .
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