At the heart of many family conflicts at Christmas is the expectation that the holiday – so hyped in the lead-up – should go off without a hitch, writes SamanthaSMorris Christmas Holidays
It happens every year. You gather with your family for a Christmas meal and even before the prawns come out –. Dirty glances are thrown, the dog runs from the room, and your mother becomes disconcertingly quiet.
If this is you, you’re not alone. Why is it that the Christmas period is such a tinder keg for families? Clients can also, she says, communicate with tricky family members in the lead-up to seeing them, by saying, ‘“I know we’ve had problems on issue X, Y or Z; I really want to enjoy tomorrow and can we put it aside?’”
They’re skills that all of us would do well to bone up on, considering this holiday season has the potential to be even more difficult than prior ones. “The narrative is that we go home to our families and we spend beautiful time together, but for people who have traumatic histories with their families, the family is anything but a safe place,” says Dr Ruth Wells, a trauma specialist and clinical psychologist at The University of NSW. “So when they get back into those environments where they’re confronted with the reminders of difficult times… their ability to feel calm and together is really undermined.
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