Even the most severe marital problems can be solved if one fundamental ingredient is present.
When the honeymoon period is over, he says, you need someone outside the relationship who can say:"It's OK. It's part of the journey of intimacy."The Buddhist consultant psychiatrist and psychotherapist provides mindfulness-based couples therapy.And he knows a thing or two about how to make love last — he's been happily married for 48 years.
The real test of a marriage isn't how well you've chosen — it's how well you survive"all the disillusionments" of a long term relationshipWhile his religion — Buddhism — and mindfulness are closely connected, he is careful to separate the two in his work. He acknowledges that similar techniques exist in Western psychology, and that comparable spiritual practices can be found in other religious traditions.The point of his approach is to find new ways for couples to relate to one another and weather the inevitable hardships that come with being in an intimate relationship.The process of choosing our beloved is a small cog in the wheel of romantic partnership, according to Eng-Kong.
He says the real test of a marriage isn't how well we've chosen — it's how well we survive"all the disillusionments".He is wary of the way popular culture puts romance on a pedestal, and he doesn't appreciate saccharine love songs on the radio."When we're in love, we project onto the other what is perfect for us. But the other is not that.""Sometimes we think we marry someone because we just want to love them," Eng-Kong says.
But deep down, we might be looking for someone who gives us the order we need,"emotionally and psychologically".
Australia Latest News, Australia Headlines
Similar News:You can also read news stories similar to this one that we have collected from other news sources.
Eugene's perfect score puts him on a path to fight his family's curseHaving lost his grandmother to cancer, Eugene Wang hopes to use his perfect ATAR of 99.95 as a springboard into a career in oncology.
Read more »
Myths about work worth busting for school leaversComment: As HSC students await their results, it's worth remembering that now is not forever when choosing study and career paths, writes Dr Patrick Garcia
Read more »
UN calls for Chilean police to be prosecuted over excessive violence against protestersThe United Nations says Chilean police used excessive force on demonstrators, committing serious human rights violations.
Read more »
The most significant pop culture moments of the 2010sIn July 2011, Amy Winehouse died of alcohol poisoning; by 2018 she was set to headline a hologram tour. It's been a wild decade.
Read more »
Meet the young Australians using social media and satellites to fight fake news in SyriaConflict zones like the Turkey-Syria border are hotspots for fake news and misinformation. But among the photos and videos uploaded to social media are clues that can be used to sort the truth from the spin.
Read more »
Different class: the fight for the future of litigation fundingA ruling in the High Court has put the brakes on class action lawsuits, in a blow for the lucrative industry but a win for boards.
Read more »