It is possible your partner does not want to make this change, writes advice columnist Eleanor Gordon-Smith. Is there another way to give you peace of mind?
I asked my partner to name me as his beneficiary. He says he will, but has not. What can I do?My partner, who is almost 80 and is extremely kind and generous, supports me. We have lived together for six years. He has no children and, when I moved in with him, he left his home to me and his money to his sister, who also has no children. She lives overseas and he no longer feels close to her as she is very controlling. She took over our lives when she visited last year.
I am concerned if he has a stroke or debilitating condition, his sister would control all decisions and I would be left unable to sell our property, which is rural. I would need all the money from a sale to move back to the city near my children. He is very kind and loving, and I have asked him twice
I remember in my early 20s having a conversation with one of my favourite colleagues, then in his 50s, about contested wills. I said the usual naff stuff like, “If everyone communicated it’d be fine” and he sucked some air through his teeth and said: “You don’t really know people until it’s about money and death.”
Nobody likes these questions. But it’s worth keeping in mind that maybe the reason you’re struggling to meet minds on this is that you ultimately disagree about that quantification. You think he should make you his financial beneficiary instead of his sister. It’s possible he doesn’t agree.
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