I had a decision to make: go to weight loss camp, or leave the industry, says fashion journalist Zoë Huxford
I had a decision to make: either go to the weight loss camp my agent was trying to make me go to, or leave the industryComposite: Alamy; Getty ImagesComposite: Alamy; Getty ImagesThe life of a model – walking in fashion shows for Prada and Givenchy, shooting for Vogue – can seem, from the outside, like a dream come true.
I was extremely fortunate that my career started like this, and I was even more fortunate that it continued. After that first week of work, I went on to shoot magazine editorials, walk runways and travel fairly consistently over the next four years. For a 17-year-old, I was making decent money, too – even after learning that when my agent said they were taking me out to lunch, this would later be deducted from my pay.
It wasn’t just the pressure – to which I succumbed – to force my body into becoming a weight it wasn’t designed to be that warned me of preordained disaster. I was 17 when I was going out to dinner with a friend, who also happened to be a casting director – and in his late 30s. He texted saying he needed to finish some work, and invited me to his house. I went, made polite conversation, then he kissed me. I froze.
galling and exasperating to be told how heavy the cross of physical beauty is to bear. To be clear: I’m aware of the privileges that being attractive affords me. I’m also aware that commodifying and profiting from my own body and beauty via the fashion industry doesn’t absolve me of my own complicity in allowing such an industry to continue. But it is possible to capitalise onfall victim to the perils of beauty. Is there a way of reconciling the two? Possibly.
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