I’d deluded myself in thinking that keeping ex-partners in my life was the right thing to do. The truth was I just liked the attention, says Sarah Manavis, digital culture writer at the New Statesman
. No matter the circumstances, no matter who dumped who, I made an effort to maintain these relationships, believing that there must have been a friendship that drew us together in the first place. As a teenager, I received rapturous praise from my family and friends for the maturity this demonstrated. Over time, I grew to see this trait as a virtue – I was doing something others didn’t have the strength of character to manage.
Only a few months before, I had spent several weeks speaking with another ex who sent me long, laboured emails about how freeing it was to go into the woods and live without technology. When I offered updates on my own life, he replied curtly, acknowledging none of it and attaching a picture of himself out to lunch with his new girlfriend.
Personal embarrassment in front of a beloved friend is what drove me to quit, after shamefully ignoring previous opportunities and the pleading from my friends. But this wasn’t a break from my principle, merely a break from this particular ex. Only with space did I realise why I was persevering with these pernicious relationships; why I needed to give them up for good.
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