I have fancied everyone from cartoon foxes to wrestlers. Do I have to say goodbye to all that?
’s parents met because her mother camped outside her musician dad’s house with a gaggle of other teenage fans. If it worked for them, you reason, there is hope for us all.
But what of the adult crushes? Or the crushes that relight, like those trick birthday candles, in adult life? In my debut novel, Square One, the protagonist is forced to move back to her home town, only to bump into the boy she had a crush on at secondary school. She is swimming, he is topless, they rescue a stranded horse from a towpath with a rolled-up jumper and the rest, as they say, is an erotically charged disaster.
The trickier question is what to do about these crushes now that I am – not to put too fine a point on it – getting married. In a few weeks’ time, I will stand up in front of a group of people and promise to love my partner, exclusively, for the rest of my life. For better or worse. Yet I know that if you were to put me in any room with any group of people for long enough, I would probably start to develop a crush on one of them.
Should I start bringing my spouse to work, the playground, the supermarket? Build him in as a contingency to stop my wandering mind? Is having crushes even really something I need to be ashamed of, guard against and deny? Or is the capacity to be attracted to a group of partners, rather than one individual, ingrained in our mammalian brains?
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