Instead of scrolling through influencers on Instagram, I catch myself staring at photos of my life six months ago and feel a sense of grief. The cancer was in me then, but I didn’t know it yet. | AimieRigas
This experience has shaped me in ways I wouldn’t take back, like a crash course in appreciating what I’ve got right here, right now.
I’m a bit of a people pleaser, preferring to avoid conflict and downplaying my emotions to make other people comfortable. It’s easier to smile and nod when someone says “you’ve got the good cancer” or “lucky you’re young”, when I know it’s not. It’s easier to listen when someone tells you about their aunt who had the same type of cancer as you “but she’s dead now”.
So many of us are in this club we never asked to be part of, which makes cancer a terrible way to make great friends. It’s also helped me reconnect with old ones. One of my best friends from high school went through breast cancer treatment almost exactly a year before me. The two of us were part of a group we self-labelled the Awesome Foursome. She’s helped me navigate these feelings in ways only someone who’s part of this shitty club can.
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