There is still fun to be had in Westminster as Jimmy Dimly and Kemi Badenoch kickstart their Tory leadership campaigns
ou have to take your pleasures where you find them in this new age of miserabilism. Anyone found to be enjoying themselves too much might accidentally cause a run on the pound. Smile and Lucy Powell will have to call in the International Monetary Fund. Such pronouncements are apparently now to be taken seriously. We must all suffer a punishment beating for the last 14 years of Tory government. That clacking you can hear? The sound of pensioners’ teeth chattering.
No matter. On Monday morning, two more former government ministers kickstarted their leadership campaigns. In the basement of the former War Office, a few assorted Tories and journalists had gathered for. A man with an unerring – if unintentional – sense of comic timing. His launch was to be a collector’s item. One that at its apogee was watched by all of 2,600 people on X. So a niche entertainment. But if you missed it, you might be able to watch on catchup.
But this was only the start. What really impressed the Shappster was Jimmy’s unique working style. Dimly could be relied on to do things in the right order. Always make sure you have entered a room before attempting to sit down. Always switch on the ignition before trying to reverse. These are the life skills you just can’t buy. To be fair, the Tory gene pool of talent is very shallow. But even so.
Robert Peel. Benjamin Disraeli. Margaret Thatcher. Jimmy Dimly. The Tory heroes tripped off his tongue. Now for the clincher. “I am the best communicator,” he insisted. Not something a good communicator normally has to spell out to their audience. Still, he had successfully communicated that he wasn’t that bright. So that was something. Baby steps and all that.in central London. An event from which some sketch writers were excluded. Left to follow on X. Maybe we were done a favour.
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