For many who no longer have their mothers around, Mother’s Day can be a truly traumatic time – but there are ways to navigate it.
My inbox right now is absolutely bombarded with Mother’s Day spam: charities, perfume, make-up, clothes, bottle shops, restaurants, holidays… You name it, whatever I’ve signed up to is here and whacking me hard over the head with a big, heavy, whopping Mother’s Day mallet.of wasted effort on their part, but nobody has bothered asking. Until now.
Ironically, the founder of Mother’s Day, American woman Anna Jarvis, created the day in 1908 as a memorial to her own mother who had died three years earlier, but in later years tried to get it cancelled, devastated at how it had become hijacked by commercialisation.– an organisation she and Eloise Baker-Hughes set up in 2013 as a resource for women like themselves who had lost their mothers, which now has a community of 10,000.
“So many women feel helpless at this time of year – there’s no control over the emails they were receiving.”“Our community just went nuts with it. They loved it. It empowered them at a time when their emotions would otherwise be at the peril of Mother’s Day emails and marketing,” she says. “We don’t want to rain on the Mother’s Day parade. It’s not about that – mothers should be celebrated. But it just comes down to awareness, emotional intelligence and education – a little bit of acknowledgement goes a very, very long way.”
She suggests people give themselves space from social media or find a like-minded friend “who you can share the upset and frustration with, reframe your experiences and remind yourself of how staged and engineered Mother’s Day sentiments are”. “Accept that it may to be a day that’s tough or filled with mixed emotions and that’s OK. It may feel good to reach out for support from loved ones, but equally you may prefer to take time out to reflect on your own. There’s honestly no ‘right’ way to be,” she says.
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