Bitterness can be a mood-setter, writes advice columnist Eleanor Gordon-Smith, but you can separate your emotional experience from his
Bitterness can be a mood-setter, writes advice columnist‘If he’s no longer feeling levity in the world, you deserve to find your own.’ Painting: In an Inn by David Ryckaert III .‘If he’s no longer feeling levity in the world, you deserve to find your own.’ Painting: In an Inn by David Ryckaert III .My husband, who is in his mid
70s, is perpetually grumpy and negative. He rarely smiles and always sees the worst side of people and places, including our family and home environment. This permanent negativity and dissatisfaction has reached a peak now that he has retired and no longer goes to work. Any attempt to jolly him out of the gloom makes him more abrasive and defensive. I can’t remember when we last had fun together or a good laugh.
He has some health issues but mostly the usual ones associated with old age. He had prostate cancer, which resulted in a prostatectomy and impotence. This has been a big blow and various remedies such as Viagra have not worked, so sex has ceased. Bad hips prevent him from playing sports such as golf, bowls or even croquet. I’m in my late
70s and really at my wits’ end on how to address the issue of his unpleasantness without being on the receiving end of a rant about everything that’s wrong with us, the neighbours, the family, the world. Is this depression? He won’t talk to the doctor about it and says he’s not depressed. He has worked hard all his life in engineering/construction and is not a reader. Like a lot of older women I’m desperate for some light relief. What can I do?The worst part of perpetual grumpiness is how absorbing it can be to the people around it.
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