This is a cautionary tale of Aussie nickname horror.
There were many factors that meant I was never going to be destined for great popularity in my first year of Australian high school – I was very short and had a very plummy British accent, very wet eyes and an objectively very “gay walk”. I was like a tiny little anachronistic aristocrat, transported into a beachside town with the express purpose of having oranges thrown at me.
The default nickname formula in Australia is shortening a name down to one syllable and then adding an “o”. You can also add an “sy” to many last names, especially if that person is a good-natured larrikin. Brooks becomes Brooksy. There are several other popular styles, which at best could be described as “observational humour”, like calling someone Canary because of the one time they wore a yellow jumper.
It’s the laziness that gets me. The idea that three syllables are a syllable too hard, let alone the horror of four. It’s weird that the prime minister is referred to, in the media, as Albo, the slight ethnic origin of Albanese apparently too hard for an entire country to commit to.It’s the unoriginality that stems from such laziness. I remember a kid I met once who introduced himself with his own nickname – Fatty.
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