Dominating people seldom realise what they’re doing, writes advice columnist Eleanor Gordon-Smith. It can make for a dangerous dynamic – but dynamics can change
Dominating people seldom realise what they’re doing, writes advice columnist‘A person who insists on correcting every little thing is often acting from a deep reserve of insecurity or anxiety.’ Painting: The Baker Arent Oostwaard and his wife, Catharina Keizerswaard by Jan Steen, 1658.‘A person who insists on correcting every little thing is often acting from a deep reserve of insecurity or anxiety.’ Painting: The Baker Arent Oostwaard and his wife, Catharina Keizerswaard by Jan Steen, 1658.
As I see it, if you want this to change, the options are basically to encourage them to stop, or try to have a different reaction. Try to pick a particular moment. It’s hard to fix a dynamic without specific examples; “you always…” is seldom persuasive. Instead, when a particular instance of bullying comes up, try to press pause and point it out – like a lepidopterist of emotion, pinning the moment to a cork board.
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