In this extract from her book Dare I Say It, the actor and advocate writes about imposter syndrome, taking risks and the power of menopausal women
‘It’s better to be at the bottom of a ladder you want to climb than halfway up one you don’t,’ … Naomi Watts. Photograph: Gareth Cattermole/Getty Images for IMDb
Relocating to America was also a very bold move. I had $2,000 to my name and one phone number belonging to a friend of my mother’s. And I was friendly but not yet besties with Nicole Kidman. We’d worked together on Flirtingand we knew each other peripherally from back home in Australia. We became much better acquainted once I moved here. And over time I made more friends and built a community.
“In midlife, men buy motorcycles or fast cars and women get PhDs,” my friend Mariella Frostrup told me when I called her for her take. “A lot of men seem to slightly slow down at this age and they’re looking toward retirement and taking up golf. And women just seem to become so much more driven and ambitious and focused as our oxytocin goes down, and we lose that love for toddlers, and our children leave home.
So many women I know had flourishing careers until they became mothers and wound up struggling to keep everything balanced. You don’t always have that luxury when the A-list directors stop calling – which has been my experience for years at a time. Maybe that’s because I’ve had a few bombs along the way. More than a handful!
Speaking up about my experience with menopause was another big career risk. But I feel like I got ahead of it. Naming what someone is thinking before they say it has let me own my vulnerability as my power. And I’ve been given terrific roles since I became vocal on this subject, including on Feud: Capote vs. The Swans and in The Friend and All’s Fair.Of course I’ve often played older, as women often do. In the Divergent series, I played the mother of Theo James.
I feel more open to risk now than I ever have. For example, writing this book feels so exposing! I hate public speaking, and now here I am signing up for a book tour.
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