Nick and Vanessa Lachey... Y'all Good?

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Nick and Vanessa Lachey... Y'all Good?
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‘The Ultimatum’ wants everyone to do things the Nick and Vanessa Way on this bonkers reality television series.

, hosted by the new unassuming titans of the reality dating television industry Mr. and Mrs. Vanessa Lachey, then you know that they believe strongly in the adage, “absence makes the heart grow fonderThey also apparently believe that their relatable celebrity love story should be the blueprint marriages everywhere, so they’ve swindled some struggling, impressionable, and likely fame-hungry partners into doing everything the Nick and Vanessa Way.

which the Lacheys also hosted. In the first episode, we meet contestants who have given their partners an ultimatum and are then subjected to strange, emotional torture otherwise known as forced, unethical non-monogamy . So, what does that even mean? Well, each individual chooses another individual from a different couple to live with for three weeks, before returning to their original partner for a final three weeks.

In fact, seemingly the entire genesis of the show rests upon the story that Nick was once unsure about settling down with Vanessa in the wake of his divorce from pop star Jessica Simpson. As Vanessa herself told us in boththe duo took a break for a month, dated around, and, as the story goes, ultimately realized they were meant to be.

“I always said I was gonna be that girl that would never give a man an ultimatum. I was 29,” says Vanessa, now 41, in the series premiere of. “Five years later, things changed. But look what it got me! We dated for five years. So I finally said, ‘What are we doing?’ I have now moved in with him. I renovated his entire bachelor pad. There was a bar in the pool. I’m like, ‘Whatever you want.’ Now I want kids in the pool. So that’s when I started the dance.

Vanessa, who emphasizes that she and Nick each dated “one other person” while they were apart, later admits that they also went through couples therapy—something she might’ve suggested to the 20-something castmates rather than subjecting them to this nightmare of a show.

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