New book Don’t Look Away details former football star’s journey through gender dysphoria from rock bottom to reclaiming her true self
, a club always in danger of going under, a club drowning in booze, a team revolving around its solar superstar Wayne Carey, and coached by the hardest of bastards, Denis Pagan. She was best afield in one of the best games ever played, the 1994 preliminary final, although North lost by a goal to Geelong. Her nose was cut and she panicked – how could she apply makeup? That night, she partied with the trans community. She arrived home at noon, back to her other life.
“I wish I could tell you,” she remembers thinking. “I wish I didn’t have to hide.” She was gaunt, not sleeping, not coping with the Melbourne fishbowl, and struggling with her gender dysphoria. “Sometimes, the industry, and the media in particular, forget that we are human,” she says. As football receded, her two lives, her two selves, were on a collision course. There was the realisation that this was not a psychological affliction, but a medical condition. There was help. There was hope. But first, there was rock bottom. There was drug addiction, and incarceration. In 2020, she was arrested, caught with 0.43g of methamphetamine and charged with one count of stalking.
The most harrowing passage of her book concerns her time in a psychiatric ward. At night, the patients howled.Join in the chorus, and sing it one at all.”Our Australian morning briefing email breaks down the key national and international stories of the day and why they matterNewsletters may contain info about charities, online ads, and content funded by outside parties.
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