It's difficult to explain to someone who has never experienced chronic pain before how all-consuming and downright depressing it can be. But despite the pain, I won’t let it hold me back.
More than 10 years ago I was fortunately diagnosed with a rare type of rheumatoid arthritis called ankylosing spondylitis . It's rife in my back, wrists, feet and pelvis.
I'd spent years not being able to partake in high-impact sports, as well as having to tell my boss I couldn't work, as I literally couldn't walk.The day I was given my diagnosis, I remember leaving the specialist's office and casting a horrified look around the waiting room and at his hunched-over 80-year-old patients, who all kind of looked like I felt. Was this my future?
In the early stages of my arthritis, there was nothing to show for what I was experiencing. The pain was invisible to others.Ankylosing spondylitis is a type of arthritis characterised by long-term inflammation of the joints along the spine, typically where the spine joins the pelvis.Although the cause of AS is unknown, it is believed to involve a combination of genetic and environmental factors. There is no cure. Sadly, arthritis is a invisible disease.
I'll wear boots and enclosed shoes, even in summer. Putting thongs on is a joke anyway, as they can't really get past the top part of my mangled toes. If I'm at the beach, they're under the sand. Sure, AS affects my back and there are days where I can barely walk. However, I've always managed to push through. Now, after 20 minutes of walking, it feels like the ground has turned into burning broken glass.
At times, it would be easy to curl into a ball and surrender to the pain but I refuse to be a victim.
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